It has been a year. On this very same day, December 24 (2011, around 4 AM), Nanay had a heart attack. And yes, it was almost Christmas. She had a battle with Arrhythmia for about 2 years. Though, it wasn't determined as arrhythmia until that December 24th incident. Arrhythmia is the irregular beating of the heart. It could be too fast, like palpitations, or too slow.
First attack was mid-June of 2010. Back then, what happened was she fainted and after a good 50 seconds she woke up. She was rushed to the hospital because this is the first time it happened. We are not used to her getting sick. She has always been working, working everywhere. She spent 3 or 4 days in the hospital. It was the first time i saw her weak. Several apparatus were connected to her body. I remember the first night in the hospital, i never took my eyes from the electrocardiogram to make sure that the heart rate is stable or at least her heart was beating. In the hospital, several tests were done, again and again. We never got any specific or considerable result. Doctors would explain the cause of the incident but they weren't able to prove it through lab results. 2D echo were normal, heart not enlarged, blood test were all okay as well.
Due to this, i never thought that it was a serious case, thinking it was due to stress and lack of sleep. My thinking changed when it happened again. From time to time she will faint and will have hard time breathing. We went to another hospital to have her check and do another Lab Test. We had her TSH, T3, and T4 tested (Test concerning thyroid glands). Results were all normal. The doctor suggested a Holter Test but we weren't able to do this because the attack was very sporadic. (Holter Test is a 24-48 hour of
Continuously heart beat monitoring). She was taking Maintenance Medicine though (Cordarone, and the like).
It was almost normal to us that she will faint and will regain her consciousness after few minutes. It
got worse after a year. About June of 2011, she fainted again and that attack resulted to a mild stroke. She was confined in another hospital (this was the third hospital already). There she had her permanent cardio and neuro doctors that we were seeing for check-up. Several tests were done to her again; Xray, Blood test, CT Scan. To no avail, still we got normal range results. Up until this point, we weren't able to determine the exact illness. Her neurologist advised us that it could be epilepsy because it has somehow, have the same symptoms. He explained that what was happening was there will be blood clot in the brain. Due to this, it was blocking the oxygen that caused her to faint. After few second the blood will melt then she'll regain consciousness. Neurologist also requested for MRI, but the said test was not available in our place. After 5 days, i can’t remember the exact number of days, she went home.
Due to this, there were several important family matters or gatherings that she missed; the wedding of ate Liz, travels, and Mimi's first ever school day. There had always been a fear in her that she won’t wake up from sleep. And it so happened.
December 24 of last year, she didn't wake up. In the hospital, we got 0 BP, a flat line. She was revived and was in state of coma for 24 days. Normal people will have a GCS (Glasglow Coma Scale) of 15 (able to walk, talk, do normal things). She was at down level 5. She was confined in ICU cause of her condition. The following days, her progress will be up and down. GCS will go up to 7 then will be at 5 again, she always has fever, her oxygenation will be reduced to 50% then up again, she had shallow breathing, and all the small things that you can think of. The biggest accomplishment we got was that she opened her eyes. Her eyes were opened but no contact. She could hear though. We communicate to her through her blinking. We would usually talk to her, and she'll blink twice if yes, once if no. Often times, a tear would fall. Nurses would say that it is normal for her eyes to get wet but we consider it that she's crying. The cardiologist did Tracheostomy (January 2) to reduce the chance of her getting infections from the anti-bodies. A lot of tests were done over and over at the same time. There were days that she showed a good sign of hope; increased sensorium, lower dopamine usage. However, there were even more days that she was non-responsive and her vitals are fluctuating.
We spent the holidays in the ICU. Christmas, New year, Three kings.. It ended January 16th of 2012. Around 12:30 AM of January 16th, we had another flat line. She suddenly stopped breathing like she was so tired already. Then I turned 24 years old on that same time.
We knew from Day 1 that we had the least hope that you can expect. Doctors were very honest about her condition. It was a choice of life and death. But we didn't give up because family does not give up on each other. We continued the medication and get all the hope that we can get. Whatever results, we will get out of that hospital with a thought on our mind that we did everything we can.
On the night of 24th, I gave up everything I can give. I pleaded to the Lord to take away all that he can take. But he didn’t.
If I’m going to relive the moment on that disheartening incident, I would not change a thing. I am very thankful to those people who stayed by our family during those unfavourable times.
To the doctors of the hospital who had been very aggressive with the treatment, who patiently explained what was happening and was very honest from day1, the ICU nurses who was very thoughtful and warm, who became a family during the trying times, who took good care of Nanay and taught me on how to use the apparatuses, THANK YOU.
I would like to say thank you to those people who went to the hospital. To all the family friends and neighbours, who even cried more than I did, to my Shepherdine friends, Officemates who travel all the way to the South to visit me, THANK YOU.
Thank you to Nanay’s friends who helped and support us financially. OLAANs and college friends, Thank you. I won’t be able to name all of you but I hope you know who you guys are. Maraming Salamat po. Walang pagsidlan ang aming taos pusong pasasalamat sa lahat ng tulong at suporta nyo.
To my family, thanks for sticking around. And to you, for always being with me. Salamat.
I don’t know how I would be able to get through it without those people who’ve helped me and push me through. They provided moral support for me to be strong. Also, thank you for helping me pay way more than half a million bill. May God give it back to you a thousand folds.
Writing this wasn’t easy; it was like reliving that night. I just wanted to share to you people how short life is. It may be as short as a day spent with someone or as short as a dream that you won’t wake up anymore. Like what I said on the funeral, all we have to do is MAC; MOURN – cause we lost someone that meant the world to us, ACCEPT – cause we can’t do anything about it and that nothing is permanent, CELEBRATE – cause she doesn’t have to bear with the pain anymore and she is at peace. Nevertheless, life has to go on.
Roma Lenn Altez Almendras
12.24.2012
(Entry may be edited sometime soon when I get the strength and chance to write about it again.)
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